what are you proud of?

when we feel powerless, it’s the little things that help us keep going.

June 30, 2025

The last day of Pride month ends in just a few hours, and…well. What a month it’s been.

As a queer creative, it’s hard to feel proud right now — not because I love my queerness or my queer community any less than I ever have, but because it’s exhausting to show up here and queer and not going anywhere while the United States government systematically decimates what little infrastructure existed to protect people like me and kids like mine. This year’s SCOTUS season was particularly brutal, with rulings in US v. Skrmetti and Mahmoud v. Taylor taking brutal shots at gender-affirming care and the rights of queer kids (yes, even queer kids with shitty parents!) to see themselves not just represented but celebrated in the books they can find in their school libraries.

But in the face of all of this, I was struck by something Katherine Locke, the author of one of the books at the center of Mahmoud v. Taylor (which happens to be one of my older kiddo’s favorites and helped her on her own journey of communicating her identity to us, for which I’ll always be deeply grateful) wrote in an op-ed published earlier today, “I Wrote One Of The Books At The Center Of SCOTUS' Scary Ruling. Here's What They Don't Want You To See”:

What struck me the most from the opinion, written by Justice Alito, was not the justices’ decision to side for the parents — I had expected that part — but their fear of queer joy. As Alito wrote, “If this same-sex marriage makes everyone happy and leads to joyous celebration by all, doesn’t that mean it is in every respect a good thing?”

[…]

[T]hat queer joy that permeates these books, that the majority of justices on the Supreme Court fear could be ‘coercive’ or ‘normative’ is also what’s getting us authors and illustrators through this moment — and what keeps us galvanized in the fight ahead of us.

Because we still have a fight ahead of us.

We do still have a fight ahead of us, and it’s moments like this that make not just capital-P “Pride” (as in Pride month) but also lowercase-p “pride” (as in, pride in who you are, in what you can do, in what and who you love) so important. Not just this month, or in this moment, but every day.

As creatives, being proud of ourselves doesn’t always come naturally. Imposter syndrome is a huge issue in creative communities, but even among those of us who are loud and proud about our work often keep quiet about it. Creativity is often seen as an indulgence, and talking about how proud we are of what we’ve made and how it’s impacted people comes off as bragging or insensitive to those who haven’t found the same success.

(Which I still think is unfair, personally. Not that we should be envying the capitalists, but you don’t see people at business conferences shaming the CEOs and saying they should stop bragging about their successes just because some guy’s tech start-up failed, do you?)

(I mean, we should be shaming CEOs. Just on principle. But I digress.)

This past weekend, my family hosted a little “meet your neighbors” breakfast in our front yard. It wasn’t anything fancy — just donuts and fruit and coffee, drop-in-drop-out, for a few hours on Sunday morning. The week before, my partner wrote a letter to go with the little flyer we distributed to our neighbors to invite them, and went up and down the street to pop them into people’s mailboxes. Among our apologies for failing at remembering people’s names since we moved in last year (his excuse: concussion, my excuse: just generally terrible at names), we wrote:

Especially in this political moment, it feels especially important to meet one another, get connected, learn how we can help and support each other, and generally pull together to make a difference in our most local community.

As people did, in fact, drop in and out on Sunday, one of the things we were most surprised by was just how excited people were about finding ways that they could connect, come together, and help out. I had put together a little sign-up sheet where people could give their contact information and check off anything they might be willing to do to support one another — things like childcare, help with lawn care or snow removal, bringing over a meal if someone is sick, helping with transportation to stores or appointments, etc — and I was stunned not just by how many people put their phone numbers down, but by how many people checked off almost every box.

Later, when everyone had gone and it was just us, the kids, and way too many extra doughnuts (we were not expecting people to also bring more food), my partner said, “I’m really, really proud that we did this.”

And honestly? So am I.

In moments like this, the people behind the attempts to silence, re-closet, and (frankly) eliminate queer people of all ages want us to be anything but proud. Not just of what we can do, but of who we are. But as the great Toni Morrison said, and as I’ve quoted many times in this newsletter before, “This is the time when artists go to work.”

There has never been a more important time for you to create. There has never been a more important time for you to be proud of what you create. Whether it’s a story or a piece of art, a play or a movie, a Discord server or a community gathering, now is the time to look at what you care about, what matters to you, what makes you feel proudest, and turn it into something. Not just something that exists, something that’s done for the sake of being done, but something that you can be proud of.

Whatever you make, whatever you create, I’m proud of you.

I hope you’re proud, too.

questions for creating for good

what was the last thing you created that made you feel proud?

“Created,” here, can be as broad as you’d like. Did you make a meal? Write a story? Knit a granny square? Put together a party? Think back to that last thing you made, with your own hands or heart or mind. What made you make it? Where did it come from? Why was that particular thing what you made in the moment you made it?

what does it feel like when you’re proud of something? how can you harness those feelings?

Pride can be uncomfortable, partially because we’re so frequently told that it’s not something we should feel. One of those seven deadly sins, right? But pride can be magical, and transformative, and powerful, too. What comes up for you when you feel proud of something you’ve made or done? What does it make you want to do next? How can you channel that energy into action?

what do the works you’re most proud of have in common? what can you learn from that?

What patterns emerge when you look at the works you’re most proud of? Can you see your values? Your passions? Your heritage? The people or places you love? The lessons you hold dear to your heart? A story you’re looking for new ways to tell? Find the threads and see what they weave, and what that tapestry might be able to tell you about the work you want to do in the world?

updates from shelly

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an elderly woman in a pink sweater says " let 's roll "

resources, links, and further reading

spotlight on: taking pride in our work